I have a passionate opinion and this entry is going to be heavily tainted with my anger. As a result of this I have compiled many opinions from my friends and family on the topic. Ignorance is bliss, but knowledge provokes change – Read some of them.
Conceal, don’t feel.
Don’t feel the need.
Don’t feel the need to show yourself, sexualise yourself. You do not need validation. Aesthetic is important to society but as a wise man I once encountered told me, “if you only ever look with your eyes then you will never really see anyone”.
The core of it is that I feel scared. Alone with men, boys, strangers and people I know. Sometimes they will smile in a certain way whilst in conversation and my mind wonders, looks for an escape plan. Most often I accept that their strength will conquer mine and surrender myself to the possibility. Why? Jokes. Laughing.
The humoring of Trump’s “grab them right in the pussy” is the perfect example of this. I mean obviously this man is disgusting! But the joke is important here. It takes away from the fact that people really do receive this treatment. They feel the violation and have the world laughing at them. That hurts me just by imagining it. Not enough people feel like the way they feel is enough. It is not enough to speak out against, but it is! 1/3 of women receive this kind of treatment. One bloody third! People won’t want to say how they feel if jokes are made about it. We don’t mean it but think!
It must be said that for as far into the past as diaries are kept, the idea of young women being more sexually aware and acting recklessly has always been of concern. Even so, this doesn’t make it less important. It shows that this has happened for a very long time now, did we forget to modernise our values along with everything else?
If people don’t walk around covering every aspect of themselves then they are wrong, people can think and do what they like if they can see female assets. Maybe it is wrong to show skin. According to many religions, modesty is key, perhaps this is the reason why they advise so. But regardless, I get shouted at from passing cars and those preteens riding around on their bikes. I once asked my mother why this happens, how could they even see anything that they might like when I am fully covered. Most of the time I’m wearing baggy mom jeans and loose tops. She told me that some men will do that, they see that you are female and feel the need to. The mere distinction of me being a girl, by carrying a handbag on my shoulder, invites people to show their dominance over me by making sexual remarks. This is largely ignored and the people doing it are often rightfully called wankers for doing so. This is an example of how it is just a gender sexualisation. We shouldn’t have to feel scared or even ask why this happens to us.
This crosses over into many branches of female based ideologies. Black feminism, white feminism etc. They can all agree that this is not race or anything else exclusive. Girls change for this idea of ‘sexy’. No other reasons need to be conveyed, this is a problem. Sex and all things sexual is a big thing. What’s more is the stigma of body hair. The full Hollywood just like porn stars, girls this is what we must have, yes? The buzz around Lola Kirks’s armpit hair at the 2017 Golden Globes was crazy. Know that the hype around women not having body hair only arose as a means to conceal girls from the characteristics of adulthood. Men were at the top of society and women couldn’t dare convey their equal level of maturity. Men grew beards. We are not in that society now, think about the values that have carried on from it and what they really mean. Has body hair been redefined? Going by the Golden Globes, Jasmine would have to say no.
Okay, so perhaps the idea that ‘sex is a big thing’ is a social construct from the Medieval Catholic ideals, which penetrated all western societies. The institutional struggle and the Christian condemning and eradication of any Pagan ideals. (Pagans used to engage in sexual acts as part of ritual). Nonetheless, it is part of our society now, a core natural truth or not, the stigma is planted too deep in our minds to break free from easily. We have emotions towards it and this means that it needs to be stopped.
I feel as though some girls do truly believe that all they are worth is their literal sexual use to another.
World, are you listening? It is time to change.